The Jamey Experiment

“I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.” – Angelina Jolie

So I actually went out on the town as a Single Woman. Woah. What’s interesting to notice are the lingering boundaries. Now I’m not talking like, “ch’ya I dunno why I wouldn’t sleep with him, something just said no.” That’s not it. I’m not a slut. I’m talking more like keeping my space from guys I don’t really know. Granted I did hit on some people I know from High School, 75% not legitimate 25% legitimate (hit-on-age). But other than that I have a barrier. A…don’t talk to me barrier. It’s almost instinctual, really, the way you know you shouldn’t do something NATURALLY and so you don’t do it. But more than likely it’s that left over “I know he wouldn’t like it if this happened” that has been so engrained for so long it feels second nature.

Second nature.

What a strange ideal. That something you have done so repetitively becomes second to nature. Too natural, as in we would be born doing this behavior. I think not.

However true or not true that statement is, I feel like my own science experiment. I mean a friend of mine’s girlfriend asked me if I’ll be “gun-shy” from now on. Interesting question. Here’s another, “how the hell am I supposed to know that?” Really people, do you think that the second a relationship ends you’re pursuing one to fill it? At least in the sense that I was MARRIED and am now NOT. It’s not as if it’s a job and the position has now become available to the next applicant. Cheese and Rice people.

“Gun Shy.”

Really? 1. I say really because…who the FUCK asks that question when you first meet them or at all. 2. Because how am I supposed to know that. Decided Divorce wasn’t until November 2011. Mind you that was only a few months ago. Also, mind you, that if that relationship didn’t work out, which it did not, do you think I’m gallivanting around looking for Husband Numero Dos? No. So my “gun-shy” – ness won’t be discovered for a long time from now.

Insert: The “You could have had a V8” forehead slap.

So back from my rant to my original point. The Jamey experiment. Being single as an Adult. I started dating my ex in 2006, 5 years ago, I was 19. I am 24 now, soon to be 25. Really I don’t know what dating is. But it will be interesting. So be prepared WordPress World because I will be sharing my findings.


One thought on “The Jamey Experiment

  1. Yeah, it was pretty crazy when my marriage ended after 14 years. I met my husband at 18 and got married at 19, and we were married for 13 years. I cried a lot of tears when he left, I was broken. I’m sure people have their opinions of my life now and what it used to be, but I know I”m in a good place now, and it doesn’t hurt as much. Thats right, I said as much. The wounds are not as fresh, and I don’t cry those foolish unappreciated tears any more.
    Hang in there, life gets better. 🙂 {hugs to you}

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