“There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me” – Ella Fitzgerald

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Forgiveness after the D-word

Forgiveness after the D-word

So I was Googling, yes that’s an activity, and ended up with this site. How? Well of course I googled, “how to forgive after a divorce.” Thank goodness I did; I could tell I was being bothered by the whole thing (who wouldn’t?).

Something I know to be true for myself is that FORGIVENESS is a big thing. Not that I have the inability but that it’s very important to not have any lingering bitter feelings towards anyone. To completely let go of it all.

It’s like a weight lifted off your shoulders, you don’t have to like the person or even ever talk to them again. But when you forgive you become a better you. Who doesn’t want that? I think we could all use a little more forgiveness, the world is so hard on us all already. We should really give each other a break.

So even though my heart is still in shreds and my financial life in turmoil, I am ready to let go of any hostile feelings. Because I did really love him and there is no shame in that.

Rise && Shine

Some mornings are harder then others; waking up to a life that’s so different then it was only a few months ago. I can’t tell what’s better, sometimes, the dreams or the reality. The dreams are replays of the past or warped versions of the future, where as reality has lots of potential. Hell if I’m here…I can only really go up, right? 

I’m ready for the mornings that I ache to come because that will be a time when sleep feels like a waste. Where sleep is just keeping you away from the life you live and you want to enjoy and remember every moment. 

Aching for the days and anxious for more.Image

&& it was the 3rd Day

My job.

I guess you can say it’s like a sanctuary. Where you actually feel competent and capable. I have a love affair with my work.

Juneau, Alaska such a small town and in it a small shoe store. Juneau needs fashion, Shoefly brings it. Shoefly is amazing. I must LITERALLY thank God for finding Shoefly and the job that I have now. It has saved me. Previously I have mentioned how difficult 2011 has been for me. From the deepest pits that I found myself in, Shoefly was a daily pull. Pulling me to sanity. Bringing me to high ground, above the flood waters, above the trees, above the roof tops. I was safe. I’ve been safe. Able to learn and grow and become a version of myself I love. Every day I’m becoming more and more in sync with this new me. There is so much joy, radiating from me, when I am there.

I’m also thankful for my new “semi” obsession; fashion with an emphasis in shoes. Shoes! Oh how I love shoes! There is art that you see and enjoy from a distance and art you wear. This art is worth every penny, each cent bringing joy to each customer, each cent bringing out a piece of each person. For each person there is a shoe and you can see when the “love at first sight” eye-lock, it seems maybe they’re just long-lost lovers for how well they know one another…you can see they’ve met before.

I have a love affair with my work.

My job.

Day Deux

So it feels great to be in the year 2012. Is it weird to feel this way? The transition of moving a year forward has never brought me any sort of…relief before.

So very thankful.

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Tomorrow brings with it a new schedule, a morning workout routine. Mostly cardio, mostly the cycle. I love cycling. It’s almost mundane but it’s comfortable. Following that I’ll head into the sauna, pretend I live somewhere warm, and then head off to the home front.

I. Am. Pumped. In a more natural and subtle way. Which makes it feel even that more “cool.” You could describe me as James Dean.

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2012 has a good opening day. For me. I start my new position at work, which is fabulous. My job that is, all of it, the stress, the co-workers, the everything. I love it all.

January 1, 2012

I think now is a good time to start a new Blog. Have something that represents this new turning point in my life.

2012 is a year I’m hoping to be different from most. I don’t have a lot of reasons why, but mainly I’m to use the life knowledge that I’ve gained.

And because 2011 sucked. Sucked bad. And hard.

2012 is a Year that I want to find hope, forgiveness and confidence. I guess you could say that is my New Years Resolution.

Cheers to the New Year!