There are aspects to the human condition I find cycling.
We go year periods with little to no change. From there a big life moment happens. We book mark it, tab it, photograph it. From there we live with that new addition. In the same pattern since birth our life cycles, yet again. This time however, with the new addition.
Almost like a growth, you get used to this thing being in your life, surrounding you. Then another life moment happens and the thing is gone. More quietly your life finds a cycle again. Living without this thing. All in all, one day you realize that it’s like it was never really there. Cycling.
If we can always get back to where we came from, get back to our patterns, then what is the point?
I think the fear of losing something special is hiding in my midst.
My life feels in constant motion. I’m not sure how long this will last or if it will ever end.
Motion as in chaos.
I’m making monumental decisions about my life. Where. When. What.
It must be done. Things are different now, though I’m holding on, and I must change with it.
For now my focus is the gym and hang-outs when I want to. You could say I’m hiding out but I feel focused. As much as possible when life feels so distracted and unrelenting. My break is books and keeping away from others.
This year is transitional and next year will be bigger. I see things ahead, on the horizon. Maybe to be expected by some but for me…it’s finally happening.