My own Fifty Shades

My sexuality is feeling boundless as well as my insecurity.

It is the way of the world those being tethered to one another. Keeping us all locked in a prison of irony and sanctity.

There are so many things I am aching for, from life, and I’m feeling trapped from them. Admittedly, by my own doing.

For the first time in so long I’m wanting to feel the freshness of a new relationship, the clarity of its walls being unknown. Keeping definitions to a minimum. I want and am excited to learn someone new.

 

I am curious and crazed. My book shelf as of late not helping (Fifty shades of Fucked Up).

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My heart skips a beat

Obviously I’ve caught some sort of romantic bug. Quote of the day. Songs trapped in my head. So glad that Pandora isn’t fueled on brain waves. What is it to feel romantic? What is it to have some sort of chocolatey gooeyness coursing through your veins?

It feels like a health condition.

Usually when thoughts like these pop in my head I create a Romantic Comedy Marathon on Netflix. Fuels my, already deep, addiction.

What I enjoy about feeling like a human sweetheart candy is the innocent and jovial factor. Currently I might have a bitter after taste but blood still courses hot through my heart. Every beat a yearn for what can’t be mistaken to be human nature. There will always be a gravitational pull towards those who surround us. Like the variables in an equation, we dance around symbols and signs. The dance continues on until we make our way to the logical conclusion.

We were born for it. Created for it. Fish do it, less complicated of course. Whether it be spawning or bonding that bring us together we find a match. Who knows about that “only one special someone” factor. Not sure if I believe that, not now. But what I do know is at the right moment there will be no doubt.

I’m literally gushing. I cannot believe I feel so red-cheeked and smitten with simple ideals.

What a happy day.