It starts in Dream Sequence

Sometimes, if I work it just right, it’s as if it never happened. I can gallivant through my days like a school girl. Laughing. Dancing. Drinking.

Other days it starts from the silence of sleep. Vulnerable. Penetrating every dream sequence. You are there. Replaying variations of rejection.

The best version of myself is the one that’s an actress. Holding and hiding. Oscar-winning.

As I lay awake

The moment I dislike being single the most: laying in bed, forcing sleep, listening to the rainfall.

I miss feeling someone next to me. Their warmth, their security. Most of all the vulnerability. How pure and innocent they look when the day is gone and all that’s left are hopeful thoughts of tomorrow.  The worries aren’t hanging on their face anymore.

The sleep sighs and small “dreamy” sounds. Roll-overs that bring them closer to you. Squeezes in the middle of the night.

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My favorite moments with you were when we slept. It was there I felt it when you loved me the most and there I felt it when it was all over.