And … It’s February

Here’s to reading my writer description and noting it’s from this time last year. Really it is quite an accomplishment, seeing where I’ve come from.

Self growth can be quite extraordinary and terribly revealing.

At least, for the moment, I’m seeing progress. I see steps forward. There is backward reflection, as there always must be, but every step is in the forward direction. Arrows pointing towards the unknown and expectation.

It’s scary realizing you have an appetite.

I may be only realizing now that it’s February of 2013 but I’ve come so far and the months have felt like years. The confusion is understandable and pleasurable.

Here’s to enjoying the future, reflecting the past, and continuously finding our Blogs to be time capsule images of a moment. Because as moments go…I’d rather continue to actively live them then to always stop and write about them.

 

Dancing like Stars

An actual match. Not forced. Not altered. A match. Pure. Innocent. Unyielding.

Here we are dancing like stars, creating shapes like planets and opportunities like meteors. We are creators. Artists. Hopefuls.

The days pass and we are aligned in that it feels like years. Decades. Memories. Yesterday was a year ago. Yet only the hours remind us. We are happy. We are young.

Moments tell us we have an eternity left. These year-days. I have no more reasons to count.

I’ve found my stationary euphoria. Marked it. Captured it. Watching it grow, eyes wide and heart full.

Fear

 

Maybe if I keep this up I’ll be prepared for it all. Maybe if I prepare for all of the worst it won’t be so bad when they happen.

It’s maybe this, maybe that…it’s hard to keep track.

You tell me everything will be fine and that in time I’ll believe you; but can that really be true?

I’m so jaded by what’s real and what isn’t, that pretending you’re a dream and I’ll wake up is the easiest explanation.

Bring me back, reality; therefore I won’t fear the dream. I’m constantly battling the fantasy of fairytale.

 

Deep-seated

There are aspects to the human condition I find cycling.

We go year periods with little to no change. From there a big life moment happens. We book mark it, tab it, photograph it. From there we live with that new addition. In the same pattern since birth our life cycles, yet again. This time however, with the new addition.

Almost like a growth, you get used to this thing being in your life, surrounding you. Then another life moment happens and the thing is gone. More quietly your life finds a cycle again. Living without this thing. All in all, one day you realize that it’s like it was never really there. Cycling.

If we can always get back to where we came from, get back to our patterns, then what is the point?

I think the fear of losing something special is hiding in my midst.

And Next

There are people you move on and away from.

To them I say, “I am not sad that I no longer know you.”

Experience is like the peeler to the fruit, carefully getting to what’s within. Most times I don’t like what’s inside.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tides changing.


I’m not used to the fresh scent of life pouring over me. So new. So exciting. It seems endless, like the ocean.

My breath comes deeper now, like the tides. Calm, regular. I find less hesitation.

The rhythmic melody colors me strange. Feeling completely natural is unfamiliar.

I could blame others for that, the status quo, the redundancy of lowered expectation, but I won’t.

From here I’ll just enjoy the salt in the air, the birds above and the promise of a new life. Fresh.

Footprints in the sand, the ocean calls me away from shore.

Got to Have Faith

Faith in Humanity is trusting that most humans have good in their hearts. That most of us, though we are frail and faltered, have good intentions. We, as humans, strike out with the best intentions. Therefore, we can trust, though error, most of us are trying to not do wrong, do to you wrong.

It can feel naive. I feel naive, at times. But I like my life better, living it this way. These same beliefs I hold myself accountable to as well. Though I may make mistakes, hurt feelings, etc., my intentions are not of an evil or conspiring nature. With that I can find some peace in life.

Of course, I do believe there are exceptions to that rule.